Your friends are not obligated to be good texters

There, I said it

Adulting in your 30s


I know, it’s frustrating when someone doesn’t reply to your text. It doesn’t have to be immediate, or even within the hour, but at least same day??

But the truth is, texting is an asynchronous communication channel, so your friends and family and lovers are not obligated to reply on your schedule.

You could ask them nicely. “It makes me anxious when you don’t reply to my messages the same day. Could you try to do that?”

But still, they don’t have to.

The sure way to get a response

If you want a fast response, call. When they pick up the call, they are committing to real-time communication. You got them.

Yes there are then people who are not phone people. Blah blah blah. But anyway they have a choice. They can choose to not pick up.

If they pick up, they made a commitment, and they should stick to it.

“But I don’t like talking on the phone!”

Truthfully, I don’t either. Or, the idea of talking on the phone makes me feel anxious. Though I don’t actually have a problem with talking on the phone once it’s happening.

Anyway, Im not saying you have to enjoy talking on the phone. It’s just that it’s the sure way to get a quick reply to whatever you wanted to convey over text.

Free yourself and others from the stress of texting

Life is hard enough without having to stress about texts.

We have all felt guilty about replying to someone’s text “too late”. Sometimes, so much has passed we feel like we could no longer reply, else it’ll be awkward.

We should remove that stress and burden from ourselves and from others.

We too should reply to texts whenever we want/whenever we get to it/whenever we feel like it. Even if it’s three weeks later. I mean, they could have called.

But, think about it — if you normalize not stressing about texting in your relationships, then you also don’t need to feel bad about replying late.



Adulting in your 30s

Musings and self reflections of a 30 something who feels like an adult but a kid at the same time