Your friends are not obligated to be good texters

There, I said it

Adulting in your 30s
4 min readJan 5, 2024

I know, it’s frustrating when someone doesn’t reply to your text. It doesn’t have to be immediate, or even within the hour, but at least same day??

But the truth is, texting is an asynchronous communication channel, so your friends and family and lovers are not obligated to reply on your schedule.

You could ask them nicely. “It makes me anxious when you don’t reply to my messages the same day. Could you try to do that?”

But still, they don’t have to.

The sure way to get a response

If you want a fast response, call. When they pick up the call, they are committing to real-time communication. You got them.

Yes there are then people who are not phone people. Blah blah blah. But anyway they have a choice. They can choose to not pick up.

If they pick up, they made a commitment, and they should stick to it.

“But I don’t like talking on the phone!”

Truthfully, I don’t either. Or, the idea of talking on the phone makes me feel anxious. Though I don’t actually have a problem with talking on the phone once it’s happening.



Adulting in your 30s

Musings and self reflections of a 30 something who feels like an adult but a kid at the same time