You and your ex went no contact. Now what?

What to do now that you’re over your ex

Adulting in your 30s


I don’t regret the decision.

My ex and I broke up 5 months ago. Or, he broke up with me, technically.

When he asked how we should proceed, I didn’t hestitate. “We should not talk to or text each other anymore.”

And so it was.

After breaking away from our last tearful kiss, I’ve never seen or heard from them again.

And, although we live not far from each other in the same city, I have a feeling we never will again.

Is no contact forever?

I hadn’t considered this before. Is no contact for the purpose of us repairing our hearts andgetting over the breakup?

If so, what happens once our hearts are repair?

Do we talk again?

It feels strange to cut someone out forever, who had been once essential to your life.

At the same time, what is the point of talking again?

Can exes be friends?

The better question is maybe, what is the point of being friends with an ex?

I suppose it depends on if your relationship was in fact built on a strong friendship. Did you share the same hobbies and interests and ways of thinking? Did you share your deepest secrets and most vulternable thoughts and was the safe place for each other?

Perhaps if that was the case, and you broke up over some other reason, then there could still be a friendship to salvage.

Let me go back one step.

What is the definition of a friend?

A friend worth having is more than just someone to hang out with. It’s someone who is there for you through ups and downs. Someone you can count on to be there for you.

By this definition, an ex could become a friend, and no contact should be broken, if you truly believe this is the relationship you could continue to have with your ex.

In my case, that wasn’t so.

Then, whatever “friendship” we could have if I reach out would be a highly superficial…



Adulting in your 30s

Musings and self reflections of a 30 something who feels like an adult but a kid at the same time