Member-only story
Yes, you will find someone better
Now it’s time to move on
Recently, I overheard a girl at pilates class telling her friend “But I can’t break up…what if I don’t find anyone better?”
Oh to be young.
Staying in a relationship out of fear of being alone
I too had this fear during my first relationship. I distinctively remember a year into the relationship, around Halloween, I started feeling like this was not the relationship I wanted. I wan’t sure what love was meant to look or feel like, but by 19 year old self knew it was probably not that.
And then we stayed together for 4 more years.
Ouch.
I tried a few times to suggest separating. But his insistence to make it work was so strong that I thought — Wow, he must really love me. He’s fighting to me. Who else would do that?
And he was good to me, to the point of spoiling me. Driving me everywhere. Offering to pay for everything. Buying me gifts and taking me to nice dinners.
And I thought that was love.
I thought that’s what I wanted in a partner. Someone who treated me well. Someone who spoiled me.