The two unexpected benefits of online dating in your late 30s

Adulting in your 30s
2 min readSep 11, 2023

Am I really in my lates 30s???

Well, let’s save that reflection for another day.

I have to admit, being back on dating apps after believing that I was done with them is a bit demoralizing.

Like, really? This again?

I should preface that I’m looking for a long term monogamous relationship — a partner in life. I had my brief stint in an open relationship, and I do believe humans are probably not meant to be monogomous, but having one relationship is hard enough, so I’d like to get that right first.

Anyway, now that I am looking to date people in their late 30s to early 40s, I have noticed a two reassuring trends in the dating pool:

Dating in your late 30s means more willingness to commit

The bane of my late 20s to early 30s dating life were people who are “not ready to commit.” It just wans’t what I was looking for. Now, gone are most of the “I don’t know what I’m looking for yet” or “I’m just here to have fun” people. The majority of profiles I have come across on Bumble and Hinge say they are looking for long term relationships. It could be a different story on Tinder though.

This is not to say I did not come across people who are still figuring it out, or people just looking for something short term (nothing wrong with either), but proportionally they feel like the minority.

Dating in your late 30s means more dates, less penpals

Vibing? More people are skipping the long text courtship and suggesting earlier to meet up and find out if the connection is real. Texting for days or even weeks before meeting is such a time suck. You can really get worked up with excitement about someone only to have it all fall apart the moment you meet them.

Attraction is something I need and want in my relationship, and the reality is, for most of us, we won’t really know if we feel attraction until we interact face to face with someone.

I do think video chats could serve this purpose and is even more efficient, but I haven’t seen this come up since Covid.

If you’re getting back into the dating pool, I hope this brings some hope and make the process less daunting. I’m also curious to hear what your experiences have been like, since I’m sure things could vary by country and even city.

How has your experience been dating in your late 30s?



Adulting in your 30s

Musings and self reflections of a 30 something who feels like an adult but a kid at the same time