Reminder: Connection does not equal compatibility

Don’t get too attached too fast, please

Adulting in your 30s


I went on a date the other day.

Recently, I’ve sworn off going on dates I’m not excited about. Although I know it’s the right thing to do, it’s still not easy to turn down a date citing lack of excitement. So far, the results have been mixed. Some unmatched me immediately, while others graciously wished me luck back, like mature humans.

But I digress.

The date.

We didn’t chat for long before making plans to meet up. His response to the profile prompt “today we could…” was go down your list of to-try restaurants.

I replied letting him know it’s a long list, and from there we made plans to go to one of them.

I wanted to pick a place that was tasty but not too fancy or sceney-. I decided on an Indonesian restaurant that I’ve heard good things about and have been meaning to try.

He promptly agreed.

In the five days between when we made the plan and when we were meeting, we didn’t talk much either. I kept re-reading his profile, trying to pick up hints about who he is, and to reconfirm that I do feel excited about him.

What made me excited? Was it his looks? That we aligned on the topic of food? That he seemed to have a good education and career? I’m not sure. But my gut told me this is a promising lead indeed.

The day before we planned to meet, he gave me his WhatsApp. I added him and was immediately smitten with the smile in his profile photo.

He’s cute.

There something genuine, warm, and kind in his smile. Did I mention I’m a sucker for nice guys?

That night, either not being able to withhold my excitement, or wanting to psych myself up more, I told my friends about the upcoming date and showed them his picture.

I’m excited! I admitted. And I promised to give them an update the next day.

I left my apartment the night of the date planning to walk to dinner. But after checking my phone, I realized I would arrive a bit late, so I decided to take the train, which mean I ended up there a bit early.



Adulting in your 30s

Musings and self reflections of a 30 something who feels like an adult but a kid at the same time