Is it time to define your relationship?

Are you a monogamist or open relationship type of person?

Adulting in your 30s
3 min readMar 3, 2024

I have always been a serial monogamist.

It was exclusivity or nothing.

I didn’t know about anything in between.

This was how I grew up, between the traditional ideals of Asia and America. And I never stopped to challenge these assumptions, until I moved to Europe, and suddenly there were all shapes of forms of relationships.

Open relationships. Ethical non-monogamy. Committed lifelong relationships without marriage. Kids without marriage. There are probably many more I don’t even know about.

After a brief and emotionally dramatic venture into a poorly defined “open relationship,” I decided it was not for me. I was a monogamist after all.

You should define your relationship after a month of dating

I read this somewhere. In a book? In a blog? In a Medium artcile? No matter. The idea is that after 30 days, it’s fair game to ask the person you’re seeing if they’d like to be exclusive (assuming you want to too). And if they don’t want to but you do, you should move on.

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Adulting in your 30s

Musings and self reflections of a 30 something who feels like an adult but a kid at the same time