How to tell if you’re really over the breakup

It’s not what you think

Adulting in your 30s
3 min readOct 25, 2023

It was exactly two months ago that they started acting weird.

The next time we talked, they were saying things like they feel like they can’t be themselves around me and that they would never understand if I were to quit my job to pursue a hobby (something I would totally do).

The whole time, I thought in my head, they’re breaking up with me.

I started texting my friends: I think we’re going to break up.

I started mentally and emotionally preparing myself. Still, no amount of rationalization (you weren’t even happy in the relationship anymore) and self affirmation (you’re better off anyway) could prepare me for the gut wrenching moment when they finally said Yes, we’re broken up.

It’s hard to imagine it was only two months ago that I took down all our photos together and we returned each other’s keys.

For weeks all I could think about was the breakup.

Maybe he was right all along.

I could be a better person.

What if I changed?

Should I tell him about how I’ve changed?

But, I held off.

When they asked how we should approach things after, I immediately blurted out that we should no longer see or contact each other.



Adulting in your 30s

Musings and self reflections of a 30 something who feels like an adult but a kid at the same time