Heartbroken? Try this one exercise to find closure

The path from breakup to acceptance and moving on

Adulting in your 30s

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The reality is, most relationships end for a reason.

Sure, you can become one of those on again, off again couples, breaking up and making up, but is that really a good use of your precious time?

Having recently gone through a breakup, I found that the process that worked for me goes something like this

Grieve -> self reflection -> acceptance -> moving on

The first steps are not necessarily linear. They can happen in any order, and even in loops.

The single most important step to healing about a breakup is to agree on and keep to the No Contact Rule.

There is nothing less productive than to be on your path to acceptance and then be promptly reminded by all the things you loved about them by hearing their voice again, remembering how they look at you, sharing a hug, a kiss, or more.

Once you have put your foot down on no contact, you can then start your healing journey.

Reflect on the good times

One thing I found particularly helpful is to reflect on the relationship — the good and the bad. In particular, let yourself think about all the things you loved about your partner and your relationship and write them down.

let yourself think about all the things you loved about your partner and your relationship

This will no doubt bring up emotions and even tears. Let them come up. Cry, scream, voice your frustration and sorrow. Let yourself grieve. The end of a relationship is sad sad business, no matter the reason, no matter how incompatible you turned out to be.

Besides allowing yourself to grieve, this also sets up the groundwork for you to move on with purpose.

This list of things you loved about your ex will turn into qualities that you will continue to look for in a partner when you are ready to move on.

Sometimes when we get out of a relationship, we feel that we must do a 180 and date someone completely different. The reality is…

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Adulting in your 30s

Musings and self reflections of a 30 something who feels like an adult but a kid at the same time