An apology to my ex

So I can be better for myself and the next person

Adulting in your 30s
4 min readSep 18, 2023

Sometimes I think of them, and I think, “fuck them.”

But actually, it’s not all their fault. As much as during the relationship I tried to paint myself as the emotionally mature one, I know I am no saint.

I know it’s impossible for it to all have been their fault.

I was codependent and didn’t know it

I made you responsible for my happiness. Sure, I can handle my own stress and regulate my emotions — but not when it comes to the time you chose not to spend with me and your mood during those times you did spend with me.

When we met, you were only working part time. Then, you got a full time job. Not a dream job, but definitely one you’re finally proud of.

Your job was a priority for you, but I didn’t get it, because to me, a job was just a means to an end. I didn’t usually stay late a work, therefore I didn’t appreciate when our evening time together got shorter and shorter. I felt hurt whenever you said you needed to work late.

I felt that you should be prioritizing me over work.

But that was your choice. It’s not up to me how you prioritize, and I could have been more supportive and understanding of what’s important to you.

Honestly, it wasn’t until I had to start working late for a few projects that I finally got it. Getting off work by 5 or…



Adulting in your 30s

Musings and self reflections of a 30 something who feels like an adult but a kid at the same time